Lily's Story

Four years ago today, in Shantou, Guangdong Province China, a baby girl was born. This is the earliest picture I have of her. She was teeny, tiny and had black hair. I would have loved to have held her in my arms and comforted her but that wouldn't happen until she was 16 months old. At the time Lily was born Jason and I had what I considered the perfect life. We had four kids 2 boys and 2 girls. We had just bought our "dream house" and life was pretty picture perfect. In early January when Lily was five days old and taken to the orphanage I was busy working on our new house. My biggest concerns in life were what color to paint the dining room and how cute I could decorate my kids bedrooms. As the orphanage staff examined Lily they discovered that she was born with a birth defect called imperforate anus something the majority of us have never heard of. Basically it means that her anus wasn't formed properly in-utero and she would need to have surgery to correct the condition. I am fascinated with accounts of American women who have had babies born with this condition and what their reactions were. This isn't something that is detected in a routine ultrasound so it comes as a complete suprise to most parents. Most parents are shocked and few, if any have ever heard of this birth defect. It just isn't something that people openly discuss. I have tried to imagine the circumstances surrounding her birth and wonder what her birth mother/parents thought when they discovered Lily's birth defect. I simply don't know how they reacted, but I am sure they were shocked and stunned.

At this same time a wonderful adoptive mom wanted to find out more about her daughter's orphanage. Through a series of miracles she did the impossible and was able to gain access to the Shantou Social Welfare Institute. That visit changed her life forever when she was asked to help a little baby boy who was suffering from a serious heart condition. She came home wondering how she could ever help the baby but couldn't get him out of her mind. She eventually raised the money to pay for his surgery and saved his life. After that the orphange told her about more children with medical conditions. Lily was among those children and as a result of this woman's generosity Lily received surgery in August of 2003.

At this time our youngest daughter Anna was 17 months old. We really wanted to be done having kids but deep down we thought there might be one more. One day in church I had a prompting and had tears streaming down my face. Jason asked me what was wrong and I told him that I knew we should have one more child. Little did I know that one month later we would be out shopping when we would meet a woman and her adopted Chinese daughter. They had only been home for 2 days. This woman kept trying to talk to us and I kept trying to ignore her. Finally we struck up a conversation and we learned quickly about Chinese adoption. The idea to adopt had NEVER crossed my mind, but within 10 minutes I knew I had a daughter in China. Jason felt it too and we went straight home and began researching agencies. Within a week we had started the process. Meanwhile, Lily's file was sent from the orphanage to the Chinese Center of Adoption Affairs.

Jason and I were adamant that we would only adopt a healthy child. After all, we already had four kids and that was work enough without having to deal with health issues. I spent a lot of time on Yahoo adoption groups and one woman posted frequently. I soon realized that she was LDS so I became interested in her posts. Soon she announced that she had been looking for a baby that she had heard about who was missing her hand. It was a beautiful story and I hung on every detail and update. Our adoption agency, Heritage, had this little girl on her list. I kept looking at her picture and telling Jason that we could adopt a baby with a missing limb or some other minor special need. He still wasn't leaning in that direction but I was being more pulled that way as I followed this story.

One Sunday night I was in bed resting while Jason and the kids were watching TV. I read a post from this woman saying she had gotten new information on her daughter. She barely mentioned the little girl who slept in the crib next to her little girl, but said that she was available for adoption on Heritage's waiting child list. Heritage was our agency and I knew instantly that this baby was our daughter. I quickly had Jason read the post and we decided to call our agency the next morning. Our agency tried to get us to look at a couple of other kids on the list but I knew Lily was ours.

Three months later we traveled to China to pick her up. The moment we met her was one of the most meaningful experiences of our lives. Words can't describe how it felt to pick up this tiny and scared little girl. When I held her for the first time I felt that my life was complete.

Lily is the greatest miracle of my life. It is no mistake that she is in our family. Lily is very aware of her circumstances and that she was without a mommy for 16 months. She will often say to me that she cried for her mommy and that I took too long to come and get her. She understands that she was carried and delivered by another woman but that I am her real mom.

People often times say to us that we are so wonderful to have "saved" Lily from a hard life. I will concede that Lily's life is 100 times better for being adopted. She has access to the best medical services, she has a mom and a dad, grandparents, brother and sisters and she has the gospel. But in all honestly Lily didn't need to be "saved." She has been given so many amazing talents and gifts and perception beyond her years. If anything, she saved us. Because of her our eyes have been opened to the suffering throughout the world, to people who are lonely and the "least of these." It is humbling and an honor to be her mother.

Having said all that, Lily is still a kid and a strong-willed one at that. Perhaps the strongest-willed I have ever seen. She is one determined little girl. She has brought us great joy and great stress. Our lives would be SO boring without her.

Happy birthday Lily! I'm so glad she was born and I'm so glad she was sent to our family.

Lily's Birthday Party

Today my little Lily turned 4. I have so much I want to write about but it will have to wait until later when all the kids are asleep. We love her so much and I'm so excited she was able to have such a great birthday. It's hard having it so close to Christmas. I considered waiting until January but at her age that's a long time to wait.

We decided on a ladybug theme which was so easy. I got all my ideas from Family Fun magazine.

I've let go of wanting to do everything myself and let Lily and Anna decorate the cake. I did the frosting and they put the junior mints on.

I had planned on getting everything done last night but Jason and I ended up going over to his parents house until almost midnight. When I woke up this morning the house was a wreck and I had to make 12 ladybug beanbags for our game. Luckily today was Lisa's day to come and instead of doing laundry she helped me with the party prep. Thank goodness for Lisa! I wish I could have her everyday. It is truly what I need. But once a week will have to do.

I had the kids make these ladybug beanbags for a craft and then we did a beanbag toss with them.

Lily invited six friends. We were so glad everyone could make it. Things went well but I have to admit I was glad when it was all over!

I just did some quick math and realized that I've done over 30 birthday parties since Eli's first birthday party 11 years ago.

In the next 6 months I have five more parties! Anybody have great ideas for fun birthday parties?

Christmas Memories 2006

Wow! I can't believe so much time has passed since my last post. I posted last week but my internet went out for a few seconds right before I was going to publish and I lost the entire post.

Last week was truly a whirlwind of Christmas activity. This definitely ranks as one of the best Christmas's ever. The kids are all such great ages for getting into the Christmas spirit. Here are the highlights of our past week:

• Making my first ever gingerbread from scratch. I always buy the kits from JoAnn's or Costco but this year I was inspired by Family Fun magazine and made this gingerbread train. It was great fun for the kids. The oldest five were very interested in helpful and Jack was only interested in eating the candy. Yum! Thank goodness Jason's mom was here and was able to hold him while we decorated.



Hanging our with our good friends, Tony & Kelly. Jason and Tony took the older kids skiing and Kelly and I took the little kids swimming at the YMCA.


• Taking the older kids to see Night At The Museum. I got smart and got a babysitter to watch the younger kids and had a fun date with Eli, Jonah, Emma and Anna.


• Spending Christmas Eve Eve with my mom doing a craft she had made for the kids.


• Going with my mom to visit two ladies in a nursing home. One of them is 103. They were amazing ladies and my mom is even more amazing for visiting them every week. She is truly a bright spot in their lives. This act of service reminded me about the true meaning of Christmas.


• Anonymously dropping off gifts to a new family in our ward. They are recent converts and it was great to suprise them for Christmas.
  
• Giving Jason his top secret Christmas gift. I have been planning for several months to redo our downstairs family room with a byu theme. I gave it to Jason in honor of BYU's bowl game on December 21. He had no clue and was so suprised. I gave him this quilt on Christmas day. He loved it.



• Going to church on Christmas Eve. We had a great Sacrament meeting and Lucy sang O Holy Night in relief society. It was so beautiful and the perfect way to start my Christmas Eve festivities.



• Watching my kids dress up and perform the nativity program on Christmas Eve.
• Yummy buttermilk pancakes for dinner with Jason's parents on Christmas Eve.


• Seeing my kidsi n their traditional Christmas pj's.


• Catching Santa Claus in the act on Christmas Eve. Eli and Jonah claim they don't believe anymore and wanted to set up a video camera to catch him in the act. It was classic on Christmas morning to see them question their entire belief system as they watched the video of Santa in their living room.


• A fabulous Christmas day with happy kids and happy parents. All the kids were so pleased with the day. We hosted a family dinner on Christmas day. I was dreading it but it turned out so much better than I planned that I hope to do it again last year.

Merry Christmas to all and here's to a wonderful 2007!

All because two people fell in love...

Happy Anniversary!

Thirteen years today ago Jason and I were married in the Salt Lake Temple. There were so many people getting married that day that when we reserved the temple in August we had to take a 7:50 am sealing time. Only two people in love could have thought that was a good idea. It was so cold and dark on our way to the temple. After our wedding we had a luncheon for all our family and friends in the Joseph Smith Building. Since today was Sunday we couldn't do much to celebrate. Last night we went with two other couples in our ward who also have anniversaries on the 18 (Doug & Julia) and the 19th (Jay and Lucy). We went to Outback Steak House and had a great time despite having an awful server.

Today I was downstairs working on our Christmas cards and Jason was upstairs on our main computer. He emailed me the sweetest anniversary letter. It totally made my day.

December 17, 2006
Spokane, WA

Re: 13th Wedding Anniversary – Salt Lake Temple, December 17, 1993 7:50 AM

To Andrea my dearest love,

Here is an incomplete list of 13 things I love about you on our 13th anniversary–

1. You love me.
2. You always think of our children and how we can meet their needs.
3. You do a great job with your calling, and do it with love of those you serve.
4. You are willing to share your dreams and visions with me so that we can work together.
5. You know what things are important to me and you support me in those things.
6. You have cleaned more poop off of and out of more things, and often at the most of inconvenient of times. I love you for this.
7. You are a great example to our friends and associates. People who know you love and respect you.
8. You have helped to create 4 beautiful souls, and you have unselfishly brought 2 beautiful souls into our family. I have a wonderful family, thanks to you.
9. You just give me a look and I know what you are thinking.
10. You are hot!
11. You trust me and are trustworthy. I know your motives are good and that you don’t keep things from me.
12. You are loyal. I know that my weaknesses are not spread around to all of your friends. My life is much better than I could have ever imagined, due mostly to you. It is much different than I thought it would be, but definitely better. Thank you for giving in to the persistence of an eager beaver RM who needed a date. I am grateful for this good life I have and for the good wife I have. I love you.

Jason made reservations for us at the nicest hotel in downtown Spokane and also arranged for a babysitter. We are going tomorrow night to stay at the Davenport Hotel and this will be the fourth time we've stayed there. We have many times regretted a December anniversary because we are so focused on Christmas. The only benefit is that it is so fun to stay downtown when it is so festive for Christmas. We plan to go to PF Changs for dinner and then a movie and some shopping.
We certainly didn't know thirteen years ago what we were getting ourselves into. We never imagined our life would be as full and wonderful as it has been. Every year we have had a milestone moment and have grown so close together. I look at our wedding picture and marvel that we thought we were so in love and that love has grown deeper over the past thirteen years.

Jason and I met at BYU in October of 2002. We dated for six weeks then I went to Israel for the BYU Study Abroad program in Jerusalem. Jason had been before his mission and that is how we started dating. I noticed he had a ring on his finger with Hebrew writing and asked him about it. He told me he got it in Israel and when I told him I was going too he invited me to look at his pictures. We spent every day together after that and wrote every week while I was in Israel. We saw each other when I got back in July 2003 and decided to get married in December. Right before I met Jason I remember I told a friend of mine that I definitely wanted a husband who loved to travel and who wanted to see the world. Little did I know how important that would be. Ten years after that time I told Jason that I felt we should adopt a baby from China. He immediately agreed. I am so glad that I have an adventurous husband who appreciates other cultures and is willing to travel all over the world. We have been to Israel together, China twice, the carribean twice and we plan to go to Brazil for the Curitiba Temple dedication.

Here are thirteen things I love about Jason:

1. He loves me unconditionally. He has never made negative comments about my appearance, weight, etc. Always makes me feel beautiful.
2. Righteous. Jason is rock solid in the gospel. I have never seen him waver in his beliefs.
3. He is spontaneous.
4. Great conversationalist. I often depend on him in social situations to carry conversations.
5. Supports me in my calling. At certain times of the year Jason spends all day Sunday with the kids. I know I wouldn't handle it as well as he does.
6. Always talks to me on the phone. I call Jason at least 3-4 times a day just to chat.
7. Is a great dad, spends lots of time with the kids.
8. Is always late to work so he can help me with breakfast and getting the kids ready.
9. Generous--Jason is generous with his time, money and resources.
10. Will watch girly movies with me. Jason loves Pride & Prejudice as much as I do.
11. Supports me in whatever I want to do. He never questions if I need a break to go shopping or to be with my friends.
12. Hard worker. Has provided a wonderful home and life for our family. We don't want for anything.
13. Great husband, father, brother and son. Jason works with his dad and brothers and has such a great relationship with all of them.

I love you Jason! I can't wait to see what the next 13 years will bring.

Ebay & Top-Secret Gifts

I just posted a week's worth of updates on my blog tonight. I have been so busy working on Jason's top secret Christmas gift that I haven't had any time to blog this past week. There's been so much to write about and it's a lame way to blog, but scroll down the page if you want to catch up on our week.

I've also been busy selling Christmas toys on ebay. I have heard that toys do really well on ebay so I decided to experiment with a few different toys this year. Now that i know how to do my postage from home there's no burden of going to the post office. I've done quite well and am suprised at how much people are willing to pay for that special gift for their child. I also helped Lucy and my friend Maddy sell a few things as well.

Windstorm

On Thursday night my friend Betsy called from McMinnville, Oregon to report that they were having a terrible windstorm and her power had just gone out. I was watching tv at the time and saw a teaser on the news that wind was heading our way. We woke up to no power. I looked out our bedroom window and noticed out trampoline was missing. Only the legs were left scattered around the backyard. I went out the front door and the trampoline was near the treeline of our property. It had blown at least 150 feet from it's spot in the backyard. We hope we can fix it. Several springs are missing. Jason tried today but it is a two-person job. I told the kids I would buy them a new one if this one is irreparably damaged. It's my best babysitter.

Not Just For Sunburns

The other day Jason went to an international market for some juice that he loved on his mission to Brazil. The lady at the market suggested he try Aloe Vera Juice. Doesn't it sound gross? It looks just like the gel you use for sunburn relief. He tried it and loved it so he bought some for me. Guess what? It's so tasty. Very sweet and good. I'll definitely be buying this as a fun treat for other people.

1st Grade

I've always thought I have a special talent to put people at ease in conversation, to go with the flow, shape my opinions to others, etc. It makes for good chit-chat and generally I'm an agreeable person. But the other day it backfired in an unfortunate way. Emma has had a couple of rough kids in her class this year. One just happens to be the grandson of a woman in our ward. On Sunday she approached me and asked me if Emma had ever mentioned that her teacher is mean. Emma doesn't have any problem with her teacher and I don't either. She is one of the best in the school (in my opinion) and I wouldn't want Emma in any other first grade class. Since I knew this grandma doesn't particularly like this teacher I downplayed how much I liked her. She also talked to another mom in our ward and from both our conversations came up with a story that we were uncomfortable with this teacher's style. Nothing could be further from the truth. She told this to the principal in a meeting with Emma's teacher. When I got to school on Monday, Mrs. H was crying when she saw me and said she wished I would have told her that I was uncomfortable. I quickly realized that in my haste to put one person at ease I upset another person that means a lot to me. I've learned an important lesson that it's better to be 100% honest about how I feel about certain things, even if it causes a little discomfort.

On Thursday night Emma had her class play. I am so grateful that her teacher does this. It was so great for Emma to memorize lines and be in a little production. She was excited all December for this play. It turned out great.

After the play we went to our RS progressive Christmas Dinner. Lucy and I had a great time running out of gas and then getting sprayed with gas. Read more about it by clicking on Lucy's name above.

I loved watching all the little kids from our ward watch the school play. We love our church friends.

Emma's Pillow

On Wednesday night Jason took the boys to a hockey game. Emma really wanted to go but it would have been too late for her, plus Jason only had three tickets. I promised her we could do a project if she stayed home. She really wanted to make a Christmas pillowcase. I remembered I had some white pillowcases left over from girl's camp about 8 years ago when I was the craft leader. Luckily there were three left, one for Anna, Emma and Lily. Fortunately Lily and Anna forgot about the pillowcases and I put them to bed and Emma and I worked on hers. She was so excited and designed it first on paper. She decided to make rudolph. She was so excited about it she insisted I take pictures then she took her pillowcase to school the next day. She knew Mrs. Harvey would be so proud of her.

Book Club Christmas Party

On Tuesday our book group had a gift exchange. We usually meet at someone's home but since it was december we met at a trendy new restaurant, Twigs. We all brought a book to exchange. I brought Gift From The Sea by Anne Lindbergh. This has been on my list of must-reads for a long time. But I've just never read it. I was given The Kite-Runner. Since I had already read this book Rebecca and I traded and I got Gift From The Sea back! We decided to read it for January. Hooray! I have already mentioned how much I love my book group and Tuesday night was no exception. The girls are all the best. Kristen , Carolyn and I stayed until 11:40. Who knows what time the restaurant closed. They were probably ready to kill us.

Christmas Party

On Saturday, December 9, we had a Christmas party at our house. It's been awhile since we've had a Christmas party and I had a great time planning/prepping for the party. There were 20 people, including us. Our awesome babysitter Kari was successful at keeping our kids down in the basement. She is truly the best. We decided to have a mexican theme and had yummy enchiladas, chips, salsa, etc for dinner. We then had a Phase 10 tournament. Devin won with a low score of 140 ( I think). It was a great way to get everyone to mingle. Since it was KariAnn's birthday I made a chocolate torte cake for dessert.

Good, Old-Fashioned Fun

As I reflect on the amount of time, thought & money I have spent the past couple of weeks getting ready for Christmas, my kids reminded me today that there is nothing that's as much fun as a good, old-fashioned box.

Lily, Jack & Anna have been playing in this box all afternoon. Today is one of those magical days where I am loving being a mom and have gotten so much done. It was a preschool day which meant I had one hour, 50 minutes all to myself. I was able to go to JoAnn's, Target & Costco. At joAnn's I bought some cute cellophane bags for Angie's pretzel treats. At Target I picked up some cute Christmas Tee's for the girls to wear to all of our upcoming Christmas events.

When I got to Costco I realized that I didn't have my card but luckily there was Lucy in the checkout line. She let me borrow hers and i checked out quickly. I was even early to pick up the kids for preschool. This afternoon Jack took a great nap and I had the girls make some more pretzel treats while I made all the food for tomorrow night's Christmas party. I have everything done except dessert which i will make tonight after our ward Christmas party.

Love & Logic

I have always been a fan of Cline and Fay's Love & Logic. Eli is also a fan and has read the book and frequently gives us parenting advice. However, in the heat of the disciplining moment I find it hard to keep my cool and say 'uh-oh" or "bummer" like I'm supposed to. Last night all the kids were out of control. None of them were listening to us and it was total chaos. I asked Emma to put her backpack and boots away and she screamed "NO!" at me and stomped downstairs. I calmly said "bummer" and picked up her boots and backpack and hid them in my closet.

Imagine her surprise when she went to get her backpack this morning and it was gone. She was actually very calm and so was I. It was so much better than the alternative. I am really trying to be calm with my kids but sometimes they push me to my limits. Today was much better. Emma put all her stuff away when she got home and tomorrow the backpack fairy will return her backpack to her hook.

A Christmas Party With a Twist

On Saturday Jason and I are throwing a Christmas party. Unfortunately our ward is having a convert baptism at the same time. When they announced it at church yesterday I was torn because Jason and Jonah have helped the missionaries in several discussions with this family. The mom is a member who has reactivated herself. Her 10 year old son was baptized a few weeks ago and Jonah and I were the speakers. We really want to support this family. I was so pleased when my friend Kari Ann, who is the YW president asked me what we should do. The girl who is getting baptized is a young woman so Kari Ann really needs to attend. We decided that we would have dinner at our house and then go to the baptism. We will then come back to our house for dessert and games. A little unusual but I feel so much better now that I've made the decision.

Yesterday in Relief Society I overheard Lucy inviting her visiting teachee to meet at McDonalds for a play date. This woman is new in our ward and feeling alittle down lately and I was so impressed by Lucy's kindness, especially when I know how busy she is right now. Speaking of Relief Society our lesson was based on this book. The book had nice artwork and good message about keeping our lamps full. It would make a good girlfriend gift.

The highlight of yesterday was the first presidency Christmas devotional. I thought it was so good I watched it twice in a row. I was particulary impressed by the instruction to show kindness one to another this Christmas season. After listening to the messages, and inspired by the kindness of Lucy and Kariann I thought it would be fun to replace the gift giving at our Christmas part with gifts of service. I hope that I'm not too overzealous, but I'm really enjoying the true spirit of Christmas this year.

On a more wordly note I decided to splurge and buy one of these tees to wear to my Christmas party. I ordered it today and I hope it arrives in time. If you love Shade clothing check out their new basic black line. My friend Kelly is the sister-in-law of the founder of Shade. She just visited her while in Utah for Thanksgiving and told me the basic black dresses are to die for.

After all my enthusiasm for doing good this Christmas season I sure had a rough day. My Visiting Teachers were supposed to arrive at noon but didn't arrive until 12:45, totally messing up my naps for the kids. I am very grumpy when Jack doesn't get a nap. My 1.5 hour break from his energy is all that gets me through the day. Without it my fuse is short, but it's been short all day anyway. Mondays are always tough, especially after a nice relaxing weekend.

Long Time, No Blog

It's amazing how fast the days fly by, especially now that we have officially kicked off the holiday season. I've spent the past week spinning my wheels, taking one step forward and two steps back. This has been the busiest week. Sunday afternoon we were hit with a snowstorm. We came out of church to find our car covered in snow. Emma insisted we have a sledding party on Monday after school, so I let all the kids invite some friends. It was great fun complete with cookies and hot chocolate. The kids are loving sledding this year.

Every year our stake does a creche festival where everyone across the stake takes their nativity sets to the church where they are displayed. Our stake does a top notch job displaying the nativity sets and it's a really cool event, but it's a lot of work. I didn't have to do a thing but for some reason I found myself over at the church four nights in a row. On Monday I took my sets and Jason's mom's sets. On Tuesday I took Eli and Emma's sets over (I should have taken a picture, they made them out of model magic) and on Wednesday I took Jonah's set over. On Thursday I volunteered in the children's area. Tonight we went to dinner with some friends and then visited the Creche. This event is really such a nice way to remember why we celebrate Christmas. Tomorrow we will take the kids after church.

It has taken me the whole week to decorate for Christmas. I had the little girls make these ornaments. They are so proud of them and were thrilled to hang them on the tree.

Here is a picture of our tree. The decorations have already been rearranged several times. ha ha ha. I am cherishing this time because when I reach the point that the tree stays perfect for the month of December it will mean I no longer have little kids who love the magic of Christmas. We are already having so much fun this year. My oldest is still barely young enough to enjoy the magic and my youngest is old enough to be excited. They all think it's taking too long and we have at least five different advent calendars going.

I am feeling the pressure of Christmas coming fast and I've been frustrated this week trying to stay on schedule to complete all I have to do before the big day. On Thursday Lucy and I went to the mall to let the little kids play in a new play area. I had brought one of my projects to work on but didn't accomplish much. After Lucy left I decided to put my kids in the drop in daycare and work on my project. I sat on a bench in the middle of the mall and worked away for an hour. I can only imagine what people thought of me. It was a great hour.