By Prayer and Fasting

Ealier this week I got my March issue of the Ensign in the mail. One of the first articles I read was about a family with an autistic son named Joshua. The biggest challenge for this family was that their son lost his ability to speak around the age of two. The mother recounts that one day she was reading in the New Testamant in Mark about the miracle of Christ healing a deaf and dumb boy. I was struck by how she applied these scriptures to her life as she realized that fasting could help her son. The family began to fast for their son and over time he regained his speech.

17 And one of the multitude answered and said, Master, I have brought unto thee my son, which hath a dumb spirit;

18 And wheresoever he taketh him, he teareth him: and he foameth, and gnasheth with his teeth, and pineth away: and I spake to thy disciples that they should cast him out; and they could not.

19 He answereth him, and saith, O faithless generation, how long shall I be with you? how long shall I suffer you? bring him unto me.

20 And they brought him unto him: and when he saw him, straightway the spirit tare him; and he fell on the ground, and wallowed foaming.

21 And he asked his father, How long is it ago since this came unto him? And he said, Of a child.

22 And ofttimes it hath cast him into the fire, and into the waters, to destroy him: but if thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us.

23 Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.

24 And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.

25 When Jesus saw that the people came running together, he rebuked the foul spirit, saying unto him, Thou dumb and deaf spirit, I charge thee, come out of him, and enter no more into him.

26 And the spirit cried, and rent him sore, and came out of him: and he was as one dead; insomuch that many said, He is dead.

27 But Jesus took him by the hand, and lifted him up; and he arose.

28 And when he was come into the house, his disciples asked him privately, Why could not we cast him out?

29 And he said unto them, This kind can come forth by nothing, but by prayer and fasting.

Fast forward to today. I attended the last ward conference of the year in our stake. I must admit that I really enjoy attending the various ward conferences. The biggest bonus is that I am able to sit by myself and soak in every word. The bishops and stake president always give fabulous talks and my selfish self loves that I get so much out of the meeting. The stake president gives the same talk every ward conference with a few twists. He has told the story found in Mark several times but today, after having read the story in the Ensign, it hit me with such force.

Fasting is one thing that I need to improve. I think all those years of being pregnant and nursing made me a lazy faster. I do it every fast Sunday but sometimes it is very half-hearted. Today, reflecting on the words in Mark made me realize the power of the fast. How many things I could change in my life if I took full advantage of fasting with a purpose.

Fantastic Finds

Nothing gives me a quick boost like a good deal. Earlier this month while I was in Portland I found this cute wreath at the Coldwater Creek outlet. It was 75% off and the perfect piece to go above my fireplace.Yesterday I had to run to Target to get a birthday present for Anna's friend Natalie. I decided to walk around the store and noticed that their import section was all 75% off. I was shocked because I was just there a week ago and had so much fun browsing through this section and everything was still full price.

On the very bottom shelf was this great rug. I put it under the scanner just to make sure and sure enough it rang up to $32.00. I was so excited and even more excited when I brought it home and found that it worked out great. Now I have a much needed rug for my front door and when I get sick of it I won't mind replacing it since I certainly will have gotten my money's worth.

Today I went with Jason's mom to Gymboree so we could earn some gymbucks. She is always so generous and likes to earn the gymbucks but doesn't like to spend them. She always ends up giving them to me. Another score since I will be able to buy this adorable Easter outfit for my girls with my gymbucks. There's no better deal than free gymbucks.

My Starfish

Yesterday I went to my mailbox and was surprised to open an envelope with a card and a small starfish charm. The card had the Starfish Parable on the front:

An old man was picking up objects off the beach and tossing them out into the sea. A young man approached him and saw that the objects were starfish. "Why in the world are you throwing starfish into the water?"

"If the starfish are still on the beach when the tide goes out and the sun rises high in the sky, they will die," replied the old man.

"That is ridiculous. There are thousands of miles of beach and millions of starfish. You can't really believe that what you're doing could possibly make a difference!"

The wise old man picked up another starfish, paused thoughtfully, and remarked as he tossed it out into the waves, "It makes a difference to this one."

The card was from a woman named Amy and I admire her greatly. She is an ordinary mom with an extraordinary ministry. Amy is the director of Love Without Boundaries, my charity of choice. Love Without Boundaries has the motto that "Every Child Counts." Two of those children that count are my Lily and Jack. We've had Lily for nearly three years now and a day doesn't go by that I don't marvel at the miracle it is that she is with our family. It is because one woman cared enough to make a difference. Amy could have been so overwhelmed by the sheer number of children who needed help but she has truly helped one child at a time. When she started her charity she had no medical knowledge and no knowlege of how to run a foundation but she persevered. What she had instead was the greatest love I have ever personally witnessed. Because of her belief that every child counts Lily and Jack have a family and will have a great posterity.

Love Without Boundaries paid for both Lily and Jack to have surgeries in China that literally changed their lives forever. Without the surgery they would not have been eligible to be placed on an adoption list. These are pictures of Amy with both Lily and Jack when she visited the orphanage.

On our adoption trip for Lily we had the chance to visit her orphanage. I walked out of the orphanage a different person and I will never be the same. I saw precious newborns who had no mother to lovingly soothe and rock them. I saw toddlers longing for parents to look them in the eye and tell them they are the most special person in the world. I saw school age kids eager to learn. And I saw teenagers who have lived their life in an orphanage without ever learning what it means to have a family, the one thing every child should be entitled to.

I am grateful for the starfish charm I received in the mail yesterday. It is a symbol and a reminder that we all can make a difference, even in small and simple ways, one person at a time.

The Scream

I first heard it in September 2005 when I went to visit Jack in the orphanage a few months prior to our adoption. They had brought Jack out of his room into a common area where there was loud music and quite a few people. He was screaming and throwing the biggest fit I have ever seen. I knew I was in trouble then. It happened again in November 2005 when we adopted him. We were in an airport in China and I handed Jack off to Jason while I went to the bathroom which was located over 300 feet from where Jason was sitting. I could hear the scream inside the stall inside the bathroom. It was so loud and lasted so long that the security people ushered us through a special line reserved for pilots and stewardesses, just so they wouldn't have to hear it any longer. Over time the duration of the scream has been reduced but the volume remains the same. I just don't know what to do about it.

Yesterday was a picture perfect day. We woke up to blue skies and sunshine, something that has evaded us for weeks. When we saw the weather Jason decided to skip work so we could take the kids skiing. We headed up to Schweitzer and had a great time. Our friends the Hubers and the Rolands were up there too so everyone had a friend to ski with. Jack got cold so I took him into the lodge to warm up. Jason and our friend Phil had Lily and Anna and eventually brought them inside as well. Jason and Phil wanted to take a few runs without the little kids so I had all three inside with me. By this time Jack and I had been in the lodge for at least an hour. As I said, he's a screamer so we had some screaming going off and on. After Lily and Anna arrived on the scene we had more screaming as little arguments broke out over our limited entertainment which was car ads in the paper and a pack of licorice. Nothing out of the ordinary and I took it all in stride and even managed to have a conversation with my friend Alice. Soon Jason arrived back on the scene and we gathered up all the boots, skis, etc to return to the rental shop. Alice started a game of rock, paper, scissors with all the kids. Jack loved it and was shrieking in excitement.

Next thing we knew a freaky albino man with a missing arm emerged from the dishwashing room that was right next to where we were sitting and screamed at Jack, "Shut Up! I just can't take it anymore. I've been listening to that scream for two hours and it's driving me crazy." All of us just stared at him, especially Jack. He didn't know what to think. I calmly said to the man, "It drives us crazy too." Everyone in the entire place was staring at us. Lily and Jack were so funny. They walked over to the dishwashing room and stood in the doorway, just staring the guy down.

So, what do I do? I don't know. It was like a little wake up call for me and I woke up this morning and started reading "Raising Your Spirited Child." Jack definitely fits the mold.

The End of An Era

I may be a bit premature in announcing this but I think I have hit a major milestone in my life. I have potty trained my last child! Hooray! I think my least favorite thing of motherhood is potty training. I loathe it. Looking back it doesn't seem that bad but in the heat of the moment it has been slightly tortuous for me. Imagine my surprise when Jason and I decided to adopt not one, but two kids with a medical condition that made potty training even more difficult.

Lily has been potty trained for months now but I haven't had the strength to train Jack. He'll go for a few days in underwear but then I'll get lazy and put him back in pull-ups. On Saturday I realized I was almost out of pullups and decided it was time to bite the bullet. He's been in underwear everyday since. He's had a few accidents here and there but overall he's doing great.

Today was the true test. I was gone from 10:15-3:30 today and Jack stayed dry the entire time. I was so proud of him. This is so significant for Jack since there are kids with his condition who are still not potty trained when it is time to start elementary school. A year ago I pictured myself changing his diapers for years and now he's strutting around in his tighty whities! As deep as our pain has been with Jack, great is my joy today.

FYI

For my sister, and anyone else who is interested I just uploaded the pictures of our Valentine Breakfast to my "A Sweetheart Breakfast" post.

No Woman Can Serve Two Internet Masters

So last night I was talking to Lucy about blogging and how much we love it. Lucy mentioned that she wished I would post more often. Sometimes I just feel like my life is so mundane and boring that there is nothing to write. I've been silent for the past few days because I've been listing on ebay. This takes all my "computer" time. I only list at night after my kids have gone to bed which is also when I blog so if I'm listing I don't have time to blog. I have three little kids who go nuts when I sit down at the computer. I could do a blog entry just on the tragedies that have occurred around the house while I've been on the computer. For them it is the green light to destruct.

Lucy assured me that even the mundane is worthwhile so I'm renewing my new year's resolution to blog 5 days a week. Let's hope I stick to it this time.

A Sweetheart Breakfast

One of my best memories as a kid was coming to breakfast on Valentine's Day to find a little box of chocolates on my plate. I loved it so much that I have made it a tradition for my kids. While visiting the Oregon coast a few weeks ago I was walking on the beach and couldn't believe all the heart shaped rocks that were scattered on the beach. I started picking them up because Jonah likes to collect them. I remembered seeing on someone's blog that they had written on rocks for their YW (can't remember where I saw this). Anyway, I thought it would be so cute for Valentine's to give the kids conversation rock hearts. They were so excited this morning when they saw the rocks on their plates. We did our traditional heart shaped waffle breakfast then the kids were off to school. I think these traditions are so important. I was such a good mom when my boys were little. I went all out for every holiday. It's become harder as our family has grown in number to keep up with all the things I want to do. My boys have such great memories of things we have done over the years that they keep me going. Yesterday when Eli came home from school he wanted to know if he would have a box of candy on his plate for breakfast.

Today I will visit three classroom parties and spend a few minutes with each of the kids. After school Jason's mom is coming over to bring valentine's for the kids. Jason and I will celebrate the big heart day by going out to dinner with friends.

I have two Valentine's Day memories with Jason. I can't celebrate Valentine's Day without thinking of my first Valentine from Jason. I was in Israel doing the BYU study abroad program and Jason and I only dated for about 6 weeks before I left. He sent me a valentine's card that said on the front, "Although we may be far apart, I hold you close within my heart." I think I knew at the moment that we would get married. Cheesy I know but hey I was young and in love. The second memory was our 2nd Valentine's Day together. Jason at a loss for what to get me brought me a miniature BYU football and basketball from the BYU bookstore. Jason is among the biggest BYU sports supporters out there and somehow felt he could translate his love of BYU sports to his love of me. Believe me it did not go over well. We've come a long way since that 2nd Valentine's Day together. I realized very quickly that it's too hard to buy gifts under pressure and now for our anniversary, valentine's day, etc we exchange letters. This is Jason's true gift and i love these letters he has written over the years. Jason is among the most loving people I know. He has always shown unconditional love for me and our kids. I'm always amazed by his capacity to love.

Happy Valentine's Day!

P.S. Pictures are coming but for some reason won't upload right now.

Girl's Weekend

This past weekend I took a little girl's retreat with my good friends Betsy and Kelly. We had such a great time shopping, talking, laughing and eating. We have been friends for years but all three of us only lived near each other for one year. It is amazing to me that our lives were brought together for that brief moment in time so that we could be a support to each other for close to a decade now.

We started out in Portland and spent Thursday evening shopping. The next day we were up bright an early for a temple session and then more shopping. (Kelly even bought a boat for their family. Jason and Tony are driving tomorrow to go pick it up). Then we headed to the oregon coast. We love the coast and vacation their every fall with our families. This time we stayed in a cute bed and breakfast. We wish we could have spent more time there. The next day we walked on the beach and then did more shopping. We barely made it to the airport. They were boarding when we arrived. It's how I like to do it.

Kelly: I met Kelly almost 12 years ago. I remember I was pregnant with Eli and we were visiting Jason's parents for Christmas break. Jason got a phone call from a girl he went to high school with (Kelly), who was also home for Christmas. Jason had known Kelly but they didn't hang out much growing up. We had heard from Jason's parents that she had cancer. She was calling because she wanted to get together with people she had known growing up. We went to her parents house and I was instantly drawn to her. I think the first few times after that I would just stare at Kelly in amazement as she is truly the most amazing person I know. Kelly had just gone through Chemo and had no hair when we met. I remember her telling me that due to ovarian cancer she had had a complete hysterectomy and would never have children. She and her husband had already filed papers for adoption. By the next year Kelly had adopted her son Wilson. Kelly and Tony moved back to Spokane for her husband to do a one year residency and Jason and I moved back a few months later. I was so excited to find out that I had an instant friend and we hung out with our little kids together. Later Kelly and Tony moved about an hour away from us and we have remained friends ever since. Our families vacation together a couple of times a year and we talk often on the phone.

Betsy: The first time I met Betsy was at a stake relief society function. I was teaching a craft class and Betsy had signed up. I was brand new to Spokane and didn't know many people. I don't think I even spoke to Betsy that day as she was with several friends. But I observed her and knew we would be great friends. I instantly liked her. Later I found out that she and Kelly were good friends. We saw each other occasionally and after Kelly moved we were both in need of a friend and got to know each other very well. We hung out together all the time and were a great support to each other. Since Kelly was only an hour away we got together often. Soon Betsy's husband got a job transfer and Betsy moved as well.

We have all been friends ever since. Betsy moved to Illinois and we went to visit twice. We were all so excited when her husband got a transfer to Portland. It felt like they had come back home. Now that they are close all three families get together often and our kids refer to each other as cousins.

The greatest thing we have all done together is traveling to China to be volunteers on a medical mission to repair cleft lips and palates. We all worked together in the pre-op room and it was the experience of a lifetime. Here we are on the Great Wall of China

We've all been through a lot over the years and I'm sure we'll go through a lot more. The coolest thing about our families is that all of us have adopted children. Kelly and Tony have adopted all their children. Watching their family grow through adoption made it very easy for Jason and I to make the decision to adopt. We knew what a great thing it was. After we got home with Lily, James and Betsy decided to adopt as well. Between the three families we have 9 adopted children.

One of my greatest dreams is that we could all live by each other. I'm so glad we were given the chance to live by each other for that one short year.

Six Hours of Primary

Yesterday started out normal enough. It was fast sunday and since we are in ward conference season it is a prime day to visit some ward primaries prior to the upcoming ward conferences. We have three wards that meet in our stake center and the first primary starts at 10:15 and the last primary ends at four. There are children, teachers and leaders revolving through the room for six straight hours. I am completely exhausted, physically and emotionally, after that much church but I seem to have some very profound experiences and great memories that occur during our ward conference season.

Yesterday was no exception. I am blessed to have an amazing presidency. I am so spoiled. We all get along and truly admire and respect each other. A few years ago I visited one of the wards in our stake and observed the Sunbeam class. The teacher's name was Maddy and I knew a little about her since she grew up here and I knew her parents. She and her husband had recently moved back to our stake after being away at law school. I was instantly impressed by Maddy and her ability to engage these new Sunbeams. It's always comforting to find teachers who magnify their calling and truly love the kids they teach. Later I was called to be the Stake Primary President and I called a presidency. One of my counselors needed to be released shortly after being called. Time went on and I struggled to come up with a name. One day Jason and I went out to eat and as we arrived at the restaurant Maddy and her husband were leaving. I immediately knew she was my new counselor. She was shortly called and quickly became the glue that held us all together. Everyone loves Maddy. She has the best sense of humor of anyone I know and kept us all laughing all the time.

But the thing that impressed me most about Maddy was how she instantly got her calling. Her only primary experience was teaching the Sunbeams but she understood the primary as if she had been a president for years. She honestly blew me away with her talent and vision. There are certain people that you connect to and in my presidency that person was Maddy. There were so many times when we'd be sitting in a ward primary and one of us would comment on something and the other would be thinking the same thing. I grew to depend on Maddy's input because I knew if we were both feeling it we should run with it.

Maddy has an awesome husband and for months my worst fear has been that he would be called to do something that would make it impossible for Maddy to continue to have a stake calling. Yesterday as I sat in the primary room waiting for primary to start this fear was confirmed. One of the teachers came in to set up and I asked her why sacrament meeting was taking so long. She proceeded to tell me that they just got a new bishop. I asked her who it was and she told me it was Maddy's husband.

I begged the stake presidency to let me keep her even in a small capacity and they wouldn't go for it. What touched me yesterday, as I sat through six hours of primary, was the outpouring of love for Maddy. The news spread like fire and everyone knew about the new bishop. So many people asked if Maddy could continue in her calling and everyone was SO disappointed to hear she couldn't. All of these primary presidencies just love her.

As I write this it doesn't sound like that big of a deal. Callings change all the time in the church but it doesn't make it easy to lose such a vital part of a presidency.