2016 Word of the Year

Happy New Year. I love this time of year. I love the idea of new beginnings and reevaluating my life. For years I have chosen a word of the year to guide my goalsetting process and New Year's resolutions. 

I knew several weeks ago that I wanted this year's word to be GIVE. 

One night in December  we had a photographer come to our home to do a little photo shoot with my girls. I thought it would take about five minutes but we ended up spending about an hour and a half talking. He shared with me his passion for capturing real life things in the moment. As we were talking I had a feeling I should ask him if he would be willing to photograph Jason's parents. At the time Jason's dad was very sick and we thought we might lose him. This had been a tender time as we had been spending lots of time with Jason's parents helping them through this illness. Jason had been caring for his father daily and we had taken a couple pictures on my iPhone of the kids with their grandpa. Already I was treasuring the little iPhone photos but when the photographer  showed me a few of the shots he got of my girls I realized the iPhone shots would never do this experience justice. So I asked him if he would photograph Jason's parents and offered to compensate him for the shoot. Instead he told me he would be honored to do the shoot and that I would not need to pay him. The next evening we spent again about an hour and a half at Jason's parents house with our new photographer friend. I could not believe  his generosity. He so freely gave of himself to us. That is when I decided I wanted to choose the word GIVE for 2016. I don't want to give money or things that are convenient for me. I want to give of myself to my children, to my friends, to strangers, and to the world if the opportunity arises. 

I'm excited to see where the word GIVE will take me in 2016! 

Hope

In the scheme of things life is pretty darn good. I'm grateful for a stable life and a good family and amazing friends that are surely heaven sent. Thank goodness we have all those things because the last few months have been intense. In October we realized that things were stressful for jack at school. The gap between him and and his peers began to widen and it became very obvious that we needed to get some help beyond ourselves. 

Luckily back in June I had a day where I knew I had to find a good counselor for Jack. I sat down at the computer and did some research and found a great guy. He was very good with Jack and I really liked him. By October he recommended that we put Jack in an intensive outpatient program at our children's hospital. This was a big move for us. I was hesitant to do it because it was a five week commitment and we would have to pull him out of school. By this point I was at the school every day trying to help jack figure out the math hat was completely overwhelming to him. Luckily because of Jason's back surgery in February we had met our deductible and could afford to put jack in the program, another miracle. 

Jack entered the program in November and it was so painful for me initially. I cried the first day we dropped him off because I couldn't believe it had come to this. I felt like I hadn't done enough for him. Those feelings of anguish quickly turned to relief as I saw how amazing the program was. I was astounded that no one had told us this before. Jack was observed for five hours a day by different psychologists and psychiatric doctors and nurses who were able to pinpoint exactly what his struggles were. We attended our own parenting classes and counseling sessions and formed our own outside team of specialists that will continue to help Jack. The biggest change we made was transferring him to a small, private school which will help  him find more success with a better curriculum for his learning style. 

We love this adorable kid and his energy and everything he brings to our family. We want to help him be the best he can and have a beautiful life. We can never take away the early trauma he experienced his first two years of life and we are only beginning to understand it ourselves. One of the sweetest moments came as I was walking down the hospital corridor reeling from the many diagnosis he had been given and I received a distinct impression and promise that in the eternal scheme of things all would be well for Jack. That is the great hope of the healing power of the atonement. I know that I can trust that promise. It doesn't mean that there won't be a struggle that is ongoing and that our life is going to be carefree. But we can have peace knowing that healing is possible. 

A Day to Remember

Monday, January 5, loomed large in our minds. We spend a lot of our Christmas break preparing for this day. I love New Year's and the way it motivates me to improve in so many areas. As a a seminary teacher, and as the kids get older, Christmas break is such a great time to rest and relax and refresh. We felt so refreshed and spent the last few days of Christmas break doing what we love most, spending time with friends and family and skiing. 

By Sunday we were prepared--seminary was ready to go, lunches were made, clothes were laid out. It was going to be a big day because we were shaking things up and jack was starting a new school.  Jason and I were both up early on Monday morning. I was off to seminary and he was off to play basketball. Just as I was saying goodbye to the other seminary students and teachers my phone rang. It was Jason letting me know that he had hurt his Achilles Tendon and it was bad. Jonah and I were both ticked because we know this means more work for us. But after jason and I got all the kids off to school we evaluated our lives and realized we have so much to be grateful for. Sure this is a pain and inconvenience and jason will miss out on so any of the things we love to do as a family but there are so any things to be grateful for. We are so blessed with good friends who came to our house on Monday night to check on Jason and give him a blessing for wisdom and a good and full recovery. 

We are grateful that we happen to be friends with a great podiatrist who is going to squeeze us in for surgery if we need it, on his lunch hour and who came to our house and checked out Jason' on his way home from work. 

The great irony of all of this is that exactly a year ago Jason injured his back and needed surgery which caused him to miss the entire ski season. Around the same time I injured my knee and was unable to ski for the rest of the season. This year it's been so great to ski a few times together as a family--better than nothing. 

Life definitely doesn't always go the way we plan. It's a good reminder that we aren't in control and we need to be flexible and reliant on the lord to get through life's challenges. 

2015

We welcomed 2015 with our traditional trip to visit the Lundbergs in St. John. The Lundbergs are the best hosts and they treated us like royalty, rolling out the red carpet the minute we walked in the door. We had so much yummy food, all the good leftovers from the Christmas season. The best was when Tony came into the kitchen and discovered that some of the children had bitten into all the chocolates to find the best ones. All the boys and the dads got rift to business watching basketball and football and Kelly and I did what we do best--talked about every topic under the sun. We then ate an amazing dinner prepared by Cooper--homemade chicken noodle soup. It hit the spot. We then had a Lughesworth family talent show and finished things off with the funniest game of telestrations which we all got for Christmas. Our favorite picture was Abba's drawing of a "cheese bar."

We knew we should have hit the road at that point but we couldn't resist a few rounds of screwie Louie. 

We are forever grateful for such amazing friends who have been with us through every trial and victory in life. 

New Year's Eve

Wow! What an amazing New Year's Eve we had. The day started in Seattle. Jason I made the short trek the night before to attend the funeral of Denise Allyn Gerstner, my aunt and wife of my mother's brother Tracy. It was moving and inspiring in so many ways. 

1. Seeing her family pay their final respects before the casket was closed was heartbreaking and inspiring at the same time. I wept thinking of my uncle living without his wife and my cousins living without their mother but also rejoiced knowing that what I witnessed in those final goodbye was evidence of love and a life well lived. I was inspired to love more and live better. 

2. Each of her children spoke at the funeral and I was moved by my cousins love for their mother and even more moved by the unconditional love she had for them. I was inspired by my cousin Ben who spoke of the dark life he led as a young man and the heartbreak it brought to his mother but through it all she never doubted him and showed him unconditional love. That love kept him going. It made me realize how important it is to love my kids, no matter how scared I get by the choices they make. It made me think maybe Denise has had the same experience I have and that is the gift to see our children as they really are and as our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ see them. 

Denise's granddaughter Mercedes sang the most beautiful rendition of I feel my Savior's love. Near the end she broke down in grief and couldn't continue. Her dad and granddad sang along with her. Casey from the mike, embracing Mercedes and Tracy from the audience. It was one of the most loving acts of kindness. 

We also sang two of my favorite hymns, "Whete Can I Turn For Peace?" And "Each Life That Touches Ours For Good." 

After the funeral service Denise was laid to rest in the most beautiful cemetery I have ever seen. Set on a hill with a beautiful perfect view of Mt. Rainier. 

The best part of going to the funeral was the love and bonds I felt to my grandmother, mother and aunts and uncles. I'm grateful to come from such an amazing family. 

After the funeral we picked Jack up from our nephew Nathan's house. A huge thanks to Becky for watching Jack. It was fun to have him along for the drive. We booked it home and arrived just in time to ring in the new year with our crazy tween kids who are making our life so fun at the moment. Thanks to Chad and Kariann for hosting this bash. 

And They're Off!

Nothing marks the passage of time for a mother more than the beginning of a school year. Back when I sent Eli to school I cried because I couldn't believe my baby was going to kindergarten. Today I dropped my youngest off at 5th grade and was teary eyed because I know how quickly the time passes and before I blink these kids of mine will be all grown up. 

The past few days have been dedicated to getting ready for the new school year. We shopped for clothes, lunch food, and supplies, had a special family dinner where we introduced our family theme for the school year and then Jason gave the kids back to school father's blessings. We slowed down and spent time with just our family before the craziness began. 

This year we have a 12th grader, 9th grader, 7th grader, 6th grader and 5th grader. One thing we will always remember about this years first day of school is that it was rainy and cold. That is a first for us. I don't ever remember a first day that wasn't beautiful. It was perfect weather for all the new back to school outfits. Here's all our traditional back to school photos. 

Let's start with Jonah. This year he is a senior. We are going to savor every minute we have left with this amazing kid. Seriously I don't know if I could ask for a better peacemaker in our home. He is hardworking, helpful and kind to his siblings. He is a good friend and so fun to be around. We are already mourning him leaving home. 

Next is Emma, starting 9th grade. She is going to love high school. She is so excited to get involved and work hard. She has a great group of friends that she spent all summer with working together on their summer homework. I wish I were half as organized as she is. She's a great student and friend too. 

Next up is Anna with another big transition year to 7th grade. This should be a big adventure as she learns how to navigate a bigger school, seperate classes and the homework that goes with them. She is so excited for the adventure and I love that we live so close

To the middle school. 

Next up is Lily starting 6th grade. She is going to rock it. She is so independent and hardworking. She was up and dressed before anyone this morning, assembling her orange chicken in a bento box and frying up her own potstickers to take to school. 

Jack brings up the rear as a 5th grader this year. He had major anxiety for the first day of school, but it melted away when he got to his classroom and so many kids were excited to see him. He has the best teacher ever. She was Eli's teacher when we adopted Jack and so she's known him his whole life. This is going to be a big year for both jack and I. It's going to require lots of effort on my part to keep Jack going but we're going to suck it up and do it. Jack has taught me more than all my kids combined. The things I've learned from him can't be taught in any classroom. 

We love every minute of our summer. We play hard and rest a lot. I believe it is important for my kids to have a break from the pressures of the school year. But when that first day of school hits I am ready for more structure. It's time to get organized and pay attention to everything I ignored while we were soaking up the summer sunshine. 

Luckily it's been a fast year

I can't believe that a year ago today Eli was entering the Missionary Training Center in Provo, Ut and embarked on a two year adventure in the Korea Daejeon mission. The time has flown by for us at home, mostly because we know Eli is having such a great experience. That's not to say it's been easy. This is a challenging mission. The language is hard and the teaching is hard but he keeps embracing the challenging parts and we get to see him grow.

We raise our kids preparing them to serve missions because we believe the message we share can bless the lives of people all over the world. But as the time approaches and reality sets in we realize two years is a long time and sacrifices must be made. But one year into this mission the time seems like such a drop in the bucket of a lifetime. Eli is having experiences that can't be replicated in any other way. He is learning what it means to serve others and to live his life with Christ at the center. Everything he learns from his mission will be the foundation of how he lives the rest of his life. 

After Eli left our family decided to call ourselves on a mission and find ways to share the happiness that the gospel of Jesus Christ brings into our lives.  Since I was teaching seminary I decided the best way to share the gospel was to do it through my students. At the beginning of the year I had one of my students bringing a friend who was interested in our faith. We invited them to meet with the missionaries (Sisters Pereleman and Lybbert) in our home once a week. The interest faded and they moved on but in the meantime we had another of my students bringing some of his friends. It was so awesome to have the missionaries in our home once a week because of the spirit they brought. Some of our sweetest experiences of the past year have been with the missionaries in our home. We got to meet some amazing kids who we never would have met any other way and hopefully they felt the spirit too. We also got to meet the best sister missionaries ever who  have become a part of our family. 

A year ago I never could have anticipated the blessings that would come into our lives from having a missionary in the field and working with our local missionaries. Like any good sacrifice the returns are better than anything I could imagine.