I love observing families in our ward who have raised successful kids. I always wish that I could take them to dinner and pick their brains for a couple of hours as to what they did to raise such great kids. Reading this book seemed like that to me. It is written in a conversational style that I found at times to be annoying but it is packed with great insights on raising children.One area that is a weakness for us is making our kids work and delay gratification. Marilee Boyack offers several suggestions of age appropriate jobs that kids should do. Jack and Lily are now assigned to unload the dishwasher and are really good at it. Yesterday I had all the kids clean all four bathrooms together. Everyone was assigned a specific job: Emma toilets, Eli and Jonah countertops and sinks, Lily and Jack bathtubs, anna floors. The bathrooms weren't cleaned perfectly but the kids are learning how to clean.
Another topic of the book that I loved was finances and children. In their family they stopped paying allowance to their kids at age 12. It was then the child's responsibility to find ways to earn money. I loved this idea. At first I thought I can't stop giving Eli and allowance. But as I read it made such great sense to me that lack of money will be a great motivator to work. I never had an allowance and from an early age learned to babysit and earn my own money. I always found a way to earn money and buy the things I want. Why would I want to deny that opportunity to my kids. Another great idea was having the kids put their mission money in a mutual fund. Instead of withdrawing the money and having to pay taxes you can gift a mutual fund account to the church, paying for the entire mission.
Another great idea was to have family mottos: a short sentence that defines your families' stance on things. So instead of nagging your kids about modesty, etc she suggests saying, "Hainsworth's follow the prophet." We came up with several family mottoes one night for family home evening and they have given us such a sense of unity.
I highly recommend this book, even though it is somewhat cheesy and full of information that seems so simple. I found it motivational and feel that our family life has really improved since we implemented some of the ideas.
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3 comments:
Sounds like a good one...even if it is a little cheesy...most parenting books are! I know this as I am a parenting book junkie!! It sounds like this book really parallels some things we have implemented at our house.
My kids all have chores...even Ailey. I think not having an allowance after a certain age is a GREAT motivator!! My parents told me at age 14 that they were no longer going to buy me anymore clothes..except absolute necessities (coat, 1 pair of jeans, tennis shoes and boots, and underwear) if I wanted something else I had to earn the money or wait until Christmas or my birthday. I remember thinking...they are so MEAN! And it does sound harsh even now but I was the best little babysitter around...AND...turned out to be a hardworker (if I do say so myself ;)AND...had cute clothes. So many people today have no work ethic (a HUGE pet peeve of mine) maybe doing something like that will create one in your children.
The family motto thing...we totally have those...we have gone from simple ones when the kids were little like "Don't cry just try!", to Reilly's famous one "Work hard...Be nice!" to more complex ones. The kids roll their eyes when I say them but I know it sticks in their heads.
I have found the motto "Modest is Hottest" to be VERY useful when school clothes shopping with Reilly. And when the kids want to do something that we don't agree with or act in a way we don't approve of and then tell us that we are being unfair or mean...Tyler and I always say..."Well we're Johnsons and Johnson's_____ (fill in the blank).
Have I made any sense whatsoever? Probably not!
Great tip about the mission/mutual fund thing!!
I can't wait to get this book. Mike and I have been talking long and hard about the changes we need to implement as soon as our summer traveling is over. (I mean really, taking away all the luxuries now will only make my life harder!)
It's going to be a rude awakening in the cruel world once this summer is over. My kids lead a pretty indulged life and I don't think it's getting us anywhere.
Andrea, this sounds like a great book. Like you, I admire parents who have raised great children and try to mimic what I can.
I completely concur about the allowance and having kids work--it builds such self worth and confidence in them--besides letting them build relationships with others who they work for.
I enjoy your book reviews. Thanks for posting them.
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